No one owes you a good time

Q: I stopped work when I had my first child. It had been 12 years and now I have three children.

All these years of staying at home makes it difficult for me to socialize whenever my husband takes me for functions.

I can’t communicate especially with the ladies and have felt lost many times.

They like to talk about overseas tours, jewellery, high fashion etc. I don’t know much about this as I can’t afford them.

But I am a good listener and observer. Once a lady jokingly asked whether I lived in a shell or what.

On several occasions I stick to my husband and join in his conservation with his male friends. I find men easier to talk to.

How can I get more acquainted with these women without feeling inferior?

Homemaker

A: You feel inferior when these women talk about materialistic things? There is no reason to. They are just people who do not share your values and aspirations.

Take pride in what you do first of all. As a homemaker, you must know how important your contribution is in the scheme of things. Maintaining a happy, well-round home for your husband and children must take effort and skill.

For that alone a housewife is far from a lesser being.

All you need do is to keep yourself well informed. When it is appropriate, put forward your views.

You might listen and observe well but do tell others about your interests. You might even be able to suggest other topics or activities you would like to engage in.

The fact that your husband wants you by his side is a plus for your marriage and a vote of confidence in you. It would be unwise to withdraw from social obligations. You should be able to learn how to enjoy such outings.

Remember that no one owes you a good time. You have as much responsibility as the next person to make a gathering enjoyable.

It is really a question of how you perceive yourself. You need to acquire a sense of balancing in self esteem.