15th July, 2012
Q: My parents and relatives are very narrow-minded and old fashioned. They object to my relationship with a girl whom I love very much.
They say if I get emotionally involved, my studies will suffer. All they want is for me to finish my studies first, then work and later get involved, marry and have kids.
I think that love doesn’t affect one’s studies if the person knows how to organize his time. I hate it when they make decisions for me. I just feel that I am old enough to make my own.
My girlfriend on the other hand is very calm about this. She advises me to be good to my parents, although she knows they bad-mouth her all the time.
I am just angry.
A: Your parents have reacted like most elders would. They are unable to accept that girlfriends and studies can be handled without cost.
Now, you are showing that you are taking credit for the fact that you are independent in your thinking, able to make your own decisions and also eager to assume responsibilities.
Think, what have made you that way?
You must acknowledge it’s the nurture, also the guidance you have enjoyed with the people around you all this time that have made you such a person.
That, certainly is not the influence of narrow-minded and outdated parents.
Do understand that a relationship can be distracting and the fear must be that immediate tasks are likely to be sacrificed when that happens. As a result your full potential will not be realized.
Concern for your future has made your parents caution against a commitment at this stage.
The girl is wise in wanting you to be mindful of your parents as she realizes that a break will not bring total happiness on both sides.
If your affection for each other is genuine, it will survive, even if you decide to put the relationship on temporary hold while you complete your studies.
Not only that, this will demonstrate your maturity. There should be no reason for objections from any quarters when you decide to share your life with the girl of your choice, once your career is on track.
When you get your priority right, things will fall into place.