1st July, 2012
Q: I am not sure whether my parents love me. They are just so strict with me.
Every day they find something to scold me about. Until now they have not given me a cell phone for fear that I talk too much to boys.
My time on the computer is also restricted. I go window shopping or to the cinema only when they take me. I can’t go with my friends.
I am only allowed to go to tuition classes.
But my brother has all the freedom to do whatever he pleases. It’s just so unfair.
Why do they treat me so badly? May be in their minds I am a cheap girl.
I really hate them. It seems that they are watching over me like a three-year-old.
I am already 16 and the youngest in the family. My brother is two years older.
My other problem is that I have fallen for a boy. Once I went with him to the seaside and he hugged me. Another time he took me to a quiet place and tried to make love to me. I refused.
Sometimes when at night I think about this, I cry. I really love and miss him, yet I don’t have the chance to see him more.
Another thing is that he doesn’t seem to care as much for me as I do him.
Do you think he loves me or am I just a game to him? I can’t concentrate on my studies.
A: I dread it when young readers tell me “I cry every night” or “I cry myself to sleep at night”… Not that I doubt it (It very often is true), but I can’t help thinking that these young people cry at night in bed because they think so many other teenagers are doing the same.
Since so many others are doing it when they are troubled, they probably think it quite fun to do the same. So, for them, might as well.
I sure think, more often than not young people like to go about things with a bit of drama.
And now, of course, your parents love you. You ought not to doubt it.
They restrict you from doing so many things because they want to protect you from harm; more so, since you are only 16, the youngest and a girl.
The only way you can gain your freedom and earn their trust is when you can prove to them you are capable of looking after yourself.
They realize that you are at an age when you can be interested in boys, the way you do with this particular boy.
Understand that parents know a lot but they don’t let on. And when in love, one can do many a foolish thing.
It’s a good thing that you had refused the boy’s advances.
You must be able to handle yourself well in any relationship and having good communication and thus the important, bond with parents, other family members, relatives, and friends will help you.
While at 16 it’s wonderful to have friends, it is not advisable to have such a serious relationship.
You will meet many, many more people in time – and it will be then that you realize how proud you are that you handled yourself commendably when you were younger.
Try not to indulge too much in romantic fantasies. Concentrate more on your studies instead.
You must know that without an education, it will be tough.
Just be good to yourself. Learn to appreciate your parents more. Try sharing with them your thoughts and problems.