17th June, 2012
Q: We are both 19. He is the son of my father’s friend.
We first met at a festival. I had no interest in him then. A year later we met again at a function.
Relatives and friends told me he kept staring at me. We didn’t get to talk.
It’s natural that I have become close to his parents, since they are my parents’ friends and seem to be always in the house or we in their house or outside over breakfast, dinners or suppers.
Now that he has gone abroad to further studies it’s strange that I should develop feelings for him.
Is this love? How would I know whether he likes me the same way I do him?
A: Your interest in him seems to be triggered by the comments of others. And that’s perfectly normal. The important thing is not to torture yourself with the many why’s, what’s and how’s.
Now he is studying elsewhere, while you must have yours to finish.
If you still feel you like him enough to explore further, when he returns there will be plenty of time.
Perceptions and directions tend to change with time and distance. So, for the moment, don’t waste time and energy over something you can do nothing about.
Of course, you can remain friends through regular correspondence. But you need to keep an open mind until you meet up with him again in the flesh.
In the mean time do not miss out on the things and activities to keep you occupied and friends to have fun with.
You need to get things back in perspective. That way you will feel less confused and less inclined to put pressure on yourself over inconsequential and unrealistic issues.