Love cannot be manipulated and forced

Q: One of my good friends fell for my course mate and he sought my help to approach her.

While this girl is popular among the boys, she also has no inkling about how my friend feels for her.

I have been sharing his problem with other friends. We group together to lend him a hand. We often create the opportunity or give excuse for him to get closer to the girl.

On her birthday, he summed up the courage to make known his feelings for her. But that same evening the girl came straight to me to say that a relationship with him is impossible.

Then rumour has it that she is actually interested in me and that is the reason she rejected my friend.

I am sure to feel uncomfortable if my friend came to know about this.

I don’t like the girl as I already have a girlfriend. What can I do now to ease the tension?

Manzolah

A: You will have to bring up the rumour about you being the reason for the girl’s rejection of your friend’s love to him before he hears it from someone else.

Since you already have a girlfriend, the explaining that it is all rumour and hearsay should not be difficult.

Arrange the meeting with your girlfriend around so that she will not have any doubts about your feelings.

To avoid embarrassment, bring the subject up lightly with a bit of humour.

Bear in mind that love is between two people and it just can’t be manipulated and forced. You can see that despite all the plotting and planning by you guys, your friend still failed to get the girl.

You should know that by now as you learnt a lesson. You might mean well but as far as matters of the heart are concerned you ought to have stayed clear in the first place.

Discussing with your other friends, although well-meaning as well, is sure to encourage rumours and complications which would have done more harm than good to your friend who dare not approach the girl.

Your friend needs to learn by himself to gain the confidence to get the girl he likes.

Rejection of any kind is easier to bear when the guy doesn’t have to put up with the sympathy of a crowd.

Continue to be a friend. Do your part. Support him as a friend should with empathy. It helps for him to know he has friends he can count on.

But leave him alone to fight his own battle when it comes to love and romance.