Don’t fall into the trap

Q: Even though I was seeing another guy who is now my husband, I had an affair with one of our company’s main clients after he expressed his love for me.

He also had a steady girlfriend at that time.

After I decided to marry my husband, I made up my mind to stay away from him.

I love my husband although he has many habits that I don’t like. But he’s very good with our two children.

Out of the blue recently after ten years this man contacted me offering me a business proposition.

The proposal seems very attractive but I can’t guess what he is up to. I don’t want to leave my husband but it’s difficult for me to let this man down.

What should I do?

Evelyn

A: What makes you think you will be letting him down if you don’t accept his offer? He seems to be holding you on ransom or something.

But you know that he can’t if you don’t let him.

You are in no way letting him down. No matter how attractive, you must reject his offer. (I am wondering why you need his help to start your own business after such a long time. What about your husband? He should know something about you starting a business of your own. Is he not supposed to be in the picture?)

You do realize that this man probably has ulterior motives. I suggest you trust your instinct. Your fear of jeopardizing your marriage is another indication that you know he spells trouble.

You are only now more aware of your husband’s shortcomings because you have a choice. Another words, if you don’t, you aren’t.

It’s clear that with this man in the background, you will be looking for more faults to justify your irritated feelings for your husband. Then you will find it all too easy to accept this man’s offer. And you know how daft that is.

You made the right decision to stay away from him after your marriage. Stick to it.

Had you continued with the affair you would have lost your husband.

He is now back with a carrot and may be also the hope that he can rekindle past romance.

Don’t fall into the trap. Be sensible and rational as you have been the past ten years.

You don’t need this man and the problems he could bring into your life. Don’t let him disturb you so.

Think of the love you share with your husband. Be sustained by the joy of motherhood. Be thankful of what you have. Don’t throw it all away for a moment of whim that this man represents.