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14th March, 2010
Q: I am divorced and he’s separated from his wife.
Even though we have been seeing each other for a while now he has a girlfriend whom he can’t stop talking about. That really irks me.
He claims that I am the jealous type.
After I confessed my love for him recently, he acted very cold towards me. I feel that he’s seeing me still because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.
He keeps encouraging me to go with the other guy who is interested in me. Is he trying to hint something?
In my mind this new guy is like a friend and I treat him as such. I don’t want to mislead or hurt him. He is nice and doesn’t mind my two kids.
Should I accept the second guy and forget the first? Will I learn to love the second guy? Or should I stick to the first guy and hope that he will come to love me? I am having sleepless nights over this.
— Ushia
A: It’s pretty obvious that the first guy has his heart elsewhere, while the second guy is truly interested and doesn’t mind your kids.
You must know that not many men can do that; accepting another man’s children.
I suggest you give the first guy a miss as you know that he loves someone else and is not prepared to offer more than friendship to you. It’s wishful and futile thinking that he will come to love you. This blind faith can only hurt and disappoint you.
The second guy is your chance to have a relationship with a future.
Before you give yourself and him time to find out more about each other, you must forget the first guy, so that you could stop comparing, hoping and wishing.
So, stop dreaming. Work hard at the relationship with the new guy instead of pining for another man who is in love with someone else.
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